Top 10 tips for parent - teacher meetings

Parent- teacher interviews are held 2 or 3 times a year and at barely 15 minutes a pop, it’s worthwhile knowing how we can get the best from these meetings. I am a mum. I am a teacher. I can tell you one is just as nervous in either hat! However, both parents and teachers should see these meetings as an ideal window of opportunity to identify problems and to celebrate the good. Here’s a list of things to help parents make the most of this meeting.

1. RSVP promptly

When the teacher sends the invitation to a parent-teacher meeting, make sure you send in the note as soon as is practical. This prompt response will not only get you your preferred time slot but will signal to the teacher you are really interested in discussing your child’s progress. It is not often possible for both parents to be present because of work constraints but if both spouses were available for the meeting, it shows further that you really take your child’s education seriously.

2. Arrive on time
Usually these meetings fit into 15- 20 minute time-slots and it’s important to respect the teacher as well as others who are after you. Some teachers will finish off the interview on time because they have a class to take care of or they have to see another parent – you lose out precious minutes if you are late!

3. Talk to your child before the interview
Talk to your child about their classroom experience. What activities do they enjoy? What makes them unhappy? Is there anything that they wanted to ask the teacher but was afraid to ask? What would make the classroom a better place for them? What do they do that makes the teacher happy? Ideally, your child should not be present at the interview so that the adults are able to talk freely and honestly about the child.

4. Prepare your questions
We often think that we will be able to remember all the questions we need to ask but as it so often happens, we leave the meeting and then remember pertinent questions we should have asked. Write these questions down in a little notebook (I use the Notes feature on my iPhone). Have a look at your child’s latest report or national test results and frame questions around these. As suggested, write questions from your child too.

5. Ask questions
Ask your questions in a polite and nice manner. Phrase it in such a way that it doesn’t come out as if you are accusing the teacher but you are just sincerely concerned with certain issues. Some questions that you may ask could be:

• What aspects of the curriculum is my child good at?
• In which areas does he need to improve in?
• Does my child get extra help in any subject?
• What is your homework policy?
• Is my child’s homework of a satisfactory standard?
• Is there anything that I could do at home to support you?
• How does my child participate in classroom activities?
• How does my child interact with his peers?
• Are there things about my child that surprises you?

For the future, what is the best way and time to contact you should I have more concerns?

6. Adopt a pleasant manner
Most of these meetings are held before or after school hours and we ought to be thankful to the teacher for giving off their free time. In this light, even delicate questions can be asked in a polite manner. If you perceive that the homework your child brings home is not enough or not of the appropriate level, instead of becoming antagonistic and saying “I really don’t like the homework that Jamie brings home. He finishes it in five minutes flat. Couldn’t you give more?” These kinds of attacks immediately put the teacher on the defensive and nothing constructive is gained. Rather, you could say something like:”How much of time would you suggest that Jamie spends on homework?” and then address your concerns.

7. Brickbats and bouquets
Inasmuch as you are displeased about certain aspects of your child’s classroom, there are a lot of fantastic things that happens there too. Make sure you mention the positive things that you have noticed or your child has mentioned and praise the teacher for these. In that way, you imply that you are taking an objective view. So, when you broach your displeasure, the teacher doesn’t get defensive.

8. Convey relevant home news
If there is anything out of the ordinary happening at home that may adversely affect your child’s performance at school? If so, it’s important to convey this to the teacher. For example, their grandparents have come for a visit from overseas after ten years and all routines have gone through the window! Or the new baby is keeping everyone awake at all hours of the night. These disruptions can affect your child’s learning at school and if the teacher knows what’s going on, then it would make sense to them why your child is a bit “off-colour”.

9. Work as a team
The purpose of the parent-teacher interviews is to cement the essential link that needs to be strengthened between the school and the home. It’s a wonderful opportunity to identify concerns about the child and for both parent and teacher to work as a team to put a plan of action to help the child so that their time at school can be a happy one.

10. Follow up
Sit your child down and mention all the good things that the teacher has said about them. Then mention those things that the teacher said that could be improved on. Discuss how you and the teacher are going to work together to help them reach their goals. Refrain from talking negatively about the teacher to your child – your child needs to respect the teacher so that he can be an effective classroom member. If you and the teacher have concerns about your child, schedule a follow-up meeting so that you can plan specific goals and set in place a plan of action. If there were some suggestions made by the teacher or yourself concerning your child (like placing them in the front of the class), contact the teacher after a few weeks to see whether this is working.

Parent – teacher meetings can add lots of benefits to your child’s developemnt if handled the right way. All the best at your interview.